Trim-Tab #1: Falling Forward
From Emotional Distress to Possibility, Courage and Freedom

by Alan Steinborn

Do you ever struggle with thoughts and feelings you wish would just go away?

Everyone does.

Everyone reading this has suffered and struggled with anger, fear, self-consciousness, nervousness, sadness, et cetera, et cetera.

Emotions seem to be a given of human experience.

What is up to you is the way you deal with these emotions.

And the way you deal with your emotions impacts every aspect of your life.

So how do YOU deal with your emotions?

Do you make the most of emotional challenges? Do you face them and grow from them?
Or, like many of us, do you face uncomfortable emotions by overeating, drugs, sex, TV, overworking, or other distractions?

Equally as telling as all the things we do to stop the discomfort of our wayward feelings are
the millions of things we do and don't do to avoid those feelings from happening at all.

We avoid promotions, because we are afraid of the challenges of leading others.

We take promotions that aren't right for us, because we are afraid of looking like a failure.

We hide the fact that we don't know all the answers, because we are afraid of looking stupid or less than competent. We hide what we do know, because we are afraid of intimidating others and thus losing their support.

The list goes on and on.

Many of us defer our dreams to avoid even the scent of certain feelings.

What about you?

What are the possibilities you would love to explore if there was no chance of emotional fall out?

The beautiful thing is that this question becomes easy to answer once you learn how to successfully deal with your emotions.

By learning how to deal with your emotions, you will get clarity on what you really want.

More than this, you will quite literally become a magnet for those very experiences that bring joy to your heart, and money to your bank account.

Thus, your emotions is where the first trim-tab is located.

Here is a simple way to deal with any emotion. With this simple one step method, you can shift any experience from challenging to promising. With this time-tested, proven method you grow in confidence, clarity and a true freedom from your fears.

I call this method FALLING FORWARD.

FALLING FORWARD is quite simple.

Here is how it works.

When you experience any emotion there are two components:

1. The reason you are experiencing the emotion
2. The sensations you have in your body

For example if you are experiencing stage fright, the reason could be because you must give a presentation this Wednesday, but the actual sensations are not 'stage fright'. 'Stage fright' are just a couple of words that mean something to you.

The actual physical sensations you experience in your body are a rush of adrenaline, a cramp in your stomach, sweat on your palms and a racing heart.

When you FALL FORWARD, your focus shifts away from the 'stage fright' towards the actual immediate physical sensation itself.

Why would you want to feel the physical sensation itself?

After all physical sensations associated with challenging emotions tend to be less than comfortable. I'm sure there are lots of feelings that, given a choice, you would rather be feeling.

Here are two major reasons to face the sensations.

1. Because avoiding and resisting physical sensations is the root of our suffering.
   
   
2. Because a physical sensation, by itself, is just a physical sensation.
   
   Physical sensations are neither good nor bad when judgment is removed.

As you learn to focus more on the actual physical experience, you begin to involve
yourself less with the story surrounding the experience. The story of 'stage fright'
(or whatever your story is) has less power over you.

You let yourself feel what you feel and begin to recognize that it is OK as it is,
no matter what it is.

As this feeling of OKness grows, and it grows rapidly, you begin to soften. Your physical experiences become more acceptable to you.

Your resistance to your sensations is replaced by a constant awareness of those sensations.

You begin to recognize that there is much more going on than those particular physical sensations. There are millions and millions of other feelings you are experiencing at the same moment.

Your mind becomes clear and quiet.

You begin to ask empowering questions.

You may become alert to new possibilities for how to deal with your situation.

In any case, the emotion will have been overcome without being avoided in any way.

You will have one less emotion to avoid, medicate or combat.

You will have gained a measure of courage which will inspire and help others.

Best of all, you will use the new clarity you have gained to pursue what is truly important to you rather than avoiding emotions that truly don't need to be avoided at all.

The next time you experience an emotional challenge try falling forward, and, as always, let me know how it goes.

If you want to gain a new level of fearlessness and life mastery, I offer training and coaching programs that help you achieve success and satisfaction in your work and life as a whole.

Feel free to contact me at 512/306-9446 or alan@speaknow.biz.

Yours in Presence,

Alan Steinborn

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Alan Steinborn, All Rights Reserved, 2003, 2004