Enlightenment With Leonard

by Alan Steinborn

Oneness.

Lots of people throughout history have talked about oneness.

That there is a basic unity to the whole thing.

If this was before July of 1996 and someone had told me that we were all one,
I would have looked at them with the kind of compassion a mother looks at her
child when the child says that cows fly, or the moon is made of cheese.

I would let them have their belief, but I wouldn't share it with them.

Why?

My skepticism about oneness was that it was an idea that autocrats used to
get everyone to have one belief and one way of doing things, and I was (and
still am) certain that this was the root of much of humanities suffering.

I reasoned that when people expect others to behave and think the same way, there is trouble!

I wanted no part of that kind of oneness! And by 1996 that was all I understood about the term 'oneness'.

How little I understood.

But that was about to change.

It happened in San Francisco's Mission District BART subway station one Sunday afternoon.

Before I describe the miracle that took place in the subway station I wish to give you a brief description
about what my day was like before I ever got to the subway station; if only to show you
that I was in no way prepared by circumstance to receive the gift I was subsequently given.

Before I ever got to that subway station, I had already witnessed my ex-girlfriend on the ground in
front of the toilet fighting with her new boyfriend over a syringe of heroin.

It was the first time I had seen her in about 2 years, and in that time her and her guy had graduated
drinking alcohol and smoking weed and had moved on to the hard stuff. It has heart breaking for me
to see the women I once was so in love with in such a terrible way. Gone was the calm sweetness from
her eyes. And gone was all the energy and light from his eyes. He looked like a zombie and she like a
wild banshee. She was skeletal and her body twitched and her eyes had that fearful look of a junkie.

And there they were fighting over a syringe in their bathroom. She was supposedly trying to
save him. I guess in her heart she really wanted to save him. So she grabbed it away from
him, and then looked up at me.

I didn't do drugs. I hardly knew anything about them. But I knew I really cared about her!
I told her to pour the contents of the syringe in the toilet and be done with it.

She almost agreed and started to do it, but then she hesitated. She just couldn't do it. She shook
her head, 'no'. She turned to her guy and they looked at each other and started to kiss.

I felt my heart drop and left them to themselves and went outside. I sat there on their porch with a
sadness indescribable. They came outside about 15 minutes later and it was clear they had come to a
solution. They had shared the heroin. I was paralyzed with grief. I was too sad weak to just get
up and leave them to their journey.

So I just stayed there for a few minutes. I felt drained and weak by what I saw.The the best I could do at
that moment up was to call a mutual friend to come and hang out also. He would rescue me, I thought.

So he came over and the 4 of us decided to go eat some Mexican food. But at the
restaurant my ex made a nasty scene and we were asked to leave. That was when I got up the
nerve to leave them. I hastily said goodbye.

When I walked away from them, I could feel relief mixing around with wave after wave of sadness.

I had regained a little strength by the time I got to the subway station, and descended the stairs to
see the departing lights of a train.

It would be 15 minutes until the next train, I realized.

I looked around.

The station was completely abandoned except for one man on the opposite end of the platform.

He was sitting down about 150 feet away from the stairs where I came into the station.

Upon seeing this figure in the distance, my whole mood shifted.

To this day I don't know why, but I walked with clarity and certainty straight to
him--like iron being drawn by a magnet.

I sat down facing this stranger and without a moment's hesitation, we immediately
looked deep into each other's eyes without saying a word; as if we had made an
appointment to be there long before.

He sat cross legged on the cement platform. He had uncommonly good posture like a swami.

He smelled of incense and camp fire. His eyes were a picture of loving peace. He softly smiled at
me and effortlessly held my gaze.

We looked into each other long and long.

The terrible, sad, hopeless images of the day mingled with the loving intimacy we shared.

I couldn't make my previous experience fit my loving connection with this amazing man.

To reconcile the incongruity, I said; "Man, I wish I was where you are."

He replied instantly and simply. In a voice that was sweet and high pitched he answered;
"I see nothing wrong with you."

And with that, I relaxed and we fell back into our silent dance of the eyes.

Then, all at once, it happened.

This strange but totally agreeable sensation came over me.

I was suddenly able to sense clearly about 1 foot in front of my body as if my awareness went
beyond the body itself to the space around the body to create a field in which the body resided.

I could feel this field and see it as a kind of light or aura.

All at once there was an opening in that field like a window in front of the center of my chest.

I could see the same thing happening in front of him.

Then, in that moment I was shown the true meaning of the word ONENESS!

It became clear!

The simple shock of realization hit both of us simultaneously.

The realization cannot be described in words. It must be experienced.

But here is my best attempt.

All at once it was clear that I was not merely this body and personality called Alan.
*I knew all at once that my true nature is the awareness that all beings share
including the man in front of me.* I was him as equally as I was me.
He was me as equally as I was him.

The odd thing was that there was really NOTHING odd about it at all.

It was as obvious and natural as up is up and down is down.

It was as if we always knew it deep down.

We were both crying tears of joy.

Gone was all the terrible sadness of the day, gone was any sense of powerlessness.

Gone was a primal fear I never even knew existed until it was gone. The fear I am talking about may
be familiar to you. It is a basic fear that comes with the primal sense of separation. It is a fear of others.
It a fear of death, it is a fear of the unknown. All these fears come from the false idea that you are the
fragile and limited body that you inhabit.

Since, at that moment, I inhabited all bodies there was nothing for me to fear at all!

I was more free and at peace than ever!

At that moment, naturally it would seem, the train arrived.

We grabbed each other's hand and boarded the train.

In this way, I became aware of true Oneness.

In this way, I was enlightened.

Please email me at alan@speaknow.biz and tell me about a time when your seemingly
essential story evaporated in the face of a here and now which captivated you and catapulted
you into realm of joy and surrender.

Yours in Presence,

Alan Steinborn

Alan Steinborn, All Rights Reserved, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007